DILLWEED
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Children of Paradise (Les Enfants du Paradis) (1946, Marcel Carne, 250) Children of Paradise is the French epic, their Gone with the Wind. It's a three hour melodrama in 2 parts that borders on allegory. Three major male characters, all artists of some sort, all revolve around the main female character who is repeatedly referred to as Truth or Beauty. Ugh. A quick rundown of the plot: Meet Frederick. Frederick is an ambitious actor and philanderer. Freddy macks on Garance, who is beautiful, carefree, wise, and basically a prostitute. Garance blows him off (but not permanently). Garance sometimes hangs out with Lacenaire, a cold-hearted thief with a talent for writing, a thirst for fame, and the greasiest hairdo ever. In one preposterous episode, Lacenaire's theft of a man's watch is attributed to Garance. How is she saved? The police and onlookers are convinced she is innocent by the brilliant performance of Baptiste, the mime. Yes, that says mime. Christ, did I say I liked this movie? Of course, Baptiste is instantly taken with everyone's favorite hooker. I don't know which is less believable-- Garance's rescue or that a mime named Baptiste is a heterosexual. Flash forward a bit and Frederick and Baptiste are knockin' 'em dead at the Funambules Theatre with their mime act but Frederick longs for parts in which he talks and ones, I assume, in which doesn't look like an idiot. Oh, did I mention that Baptiste is madly in love with Garance but she's banging Frederick? Those crazy French bastards! Some rich asshole, the Count du Montray, wants to shower her with gifts but she blows him off (but not permanently). As part one comes to a close, Garance once again is wrongly accused of being involved in one of Lacenaire's schemes, but there are no mimes around this time. Crafty skank she is, she calls on the Count to get her out of the pickle. As part two starts, it's six years later and everyone's seems happy. Frederick is now Paris's most popular actor and Baptiste is Paris's most popular guy who plays with imaginary rope. Unbeknownst to the now-domestic Baptiste, Garance has always loved him and has been coming to see his performances since she came into town with her duel-happy sugar daddy. Frederick finds this out and tells Baptiste, who is now ready to chuck his wife and kid to be with her (Isn't that romantic?). Baptiste plans to tell Garance of his passion at Fred's rendition of Othello that she will be attending with the Count. After the show, Garance and Baptiste are smooching on the balcony while just inside, the Count, in his nonplussed jealous overheating, is attempting to insult Frederick, Lacenaire, and even Shakespeare. Lacenaire doesn't like it and makes a grand show of revealing the secret lovers to the profound embarrassment of the Count. At this point, the Count challenges neither Lacenaire nor Baptiste, but Frederick to a duel. Huh? Anyway, before the duel can occur, Lacenaire finds the Count and kills him for the fame and glory. In the final scenes, Mrs. Mime catches Baptiste with Garance, Garance flees, Baptiste pursues, but Baptiste cannot fight through the crowd to catch his ho-bag. After my initial viewing, I can see Lacenaire as a representation of the authors of the film. But that is pretentious crap for another time. I bid you adieu, mon capitain cheri amour.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Annual Oscar predictions Best Actor: will win - Sean Penn, Mystic River should win - Bill Murray, Lost in Translation should have been nominated - Billy Bob Thornton, Bad Santa Best Actress: will win - Charlize Theron, Monster should win - i only saw one of these. Naomi Watts was pretty good in 21 Grams should have been nominated - Scarlett Johanssen, Lost in Translation (DUH!) Best Supp. Actor: will win - Alec Baldwin, The Cooler should win - Alec Baldwin, The Cooler should have been nominated - Willem Dafoe, Finding Nemo Best Supp. Actress: will win - Renee Zellweger, Cold Mountain should win - i only saw one of these. Marcia Gay Harden was pretty good in Mystic River. should have been nominated - Joan Cusack, School of Rock Best Original Screenplay: will win - Lost in Translation should win - Lost in Translation should have been nominated - All or Nothing Best Adapted Screenplay: will win - Mystic River should win - Mystic River should have been nominated - Spider Best Director: will win - Peter Jackson, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King should win - Sofia Coppola, Lost in Translation should have been nominated - David Gordon Green, All the Real Girls Best Film: will win - Lord of the Rings: Return of the King should win - Lost in Translation should have been nominated - All the Real Girls The best 5 movies I saw released in 2003: Lost in Translation Bright Future Bad Santa All or Nothing All the Real Girls
Monday, February 16, 2004
Sunday, February 15, 2004
Lost in Translation (2003, Sofia Coppola, 290) The best film nominated for Best Picture this year, which guarantees that it will win the Best Original Screenplay award and nothing else. The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928, Carl Theodor Dreyer, 300)
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Intolerable Cruelty (2003, Joel Coen, 250) Howard Hawks and Preston Sturges had a baby and that baby split into two babies named Joel and Ethan Coen.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
The Civil War (1989, Ken Burns, 275) I got rooked. Jude Law wasn't in this bitch once. Adaptation (2002, Spike Jonze, 300) i loves me some self-reflexive writin'. oh yeah, this, too.
Monday, February 02, 2004
Coup de Grace (1976, Volker Schlondorff, 100) Goofy Sturm und Drang with a dopey kicker. Exactly what most non-cineastes hate about much of European cinema. The Bicycle Thief (1948, Vittorio de Sica, 225) Simple story: poor guy needs bike for job, poor guy gets bike out of hock with last bit o' money, asshole steals bike, guy looks for bike, guy winds up stealing a bike out of desperation. Pretty ironic, huh? Not the feel-good hit of the summer. Nights of Cabiria (1957, Federico Fellini, 325) I started writing this by describing the Italian neorealism movement and Fellini's break with it, but none of it means squat compared to this: the last scene (and I mean the last 30 seconds or so) of this film is one of the 2 or 3 most effective movie moments I have ever experienced.
