Howdy, it's been a long, a long time. I got a pile of movies I've torn through, so each review will have to be quick. I thought I'd pair up movies in each mini-review. Yeee-haa!

The Grudge/Ju-on. The first is the American remake of the second. Usually, you might expect "re-make" to mean "piece of shit," but not this one, son. This one's the real-squeeze Coté's hand off-deal. The American version of The Grudge/Ju-on is good stuff. Don't let Buffy scare you off.

As Kim pointed out, there is a lot of repeat between the originals and the re-make...but she almost ground my arm into a pulp even at the mere reflection of one of those pale ghosts.

My advice: see the American one while it's in the theatres, and rent Ju-on for that week long, remote cabin trip you're planning on having.

Alamo Drafthouse at The Village/Alamo Drafthouse at Lake Creek. The Lake Creek one is more spacious, and the seats are more comfortable. How 'bout them sittin' tables at Lake Creek? I've finally decided that the food at both sucks soggy pig-titty. That Red Stripe ain't so bad though...

Both of them are OK, but the Village seems like it has more hipsters...for better or worse. And, Jesus, what the fuck is a "Lake Creek"? It's either one or the other, bubba, can't be both in God's country.

Cold Mountain/Sweet Home Alabama. Look, we're members of Netflix here. We see a lot of movies. Every-now-and-then, something like Sweet Home Alabama sneaks in. But, it goes well with another movie about the South -- both with plenty of folks in confederate uniforms -- Cold Mountain. Sure, the drama one is better than the comedy...well, you could say a lot better. I guess with Alabama, you get to see what all that suffering in Cold Mountain was for. Yay the South!

(Did anyone else think it was weird that the two lead actors in Cold Mountain, a movie about the American Civil War were from the Commonwealth? Next thing you know one of them Queen worshipers is going to make a movie about the Revolution.)

I'd see Cold Mountain if you were hankering for a drama, and I'd start a Civil War if your movie renting partner suggested getting Sweet Home Alabama.

Shaun of the Dead/Matrix: Revolutions. This one's easy:

- if you haven't seen Shaun of the Dead yet, you should be dead yourself. You'll die laughing! (No, really, it is a good movie.)

- the other one...I still don't get it. Programs? Do you think when they were filming this all the actors kept saying, "this is so dumb...but, Jesus, I love that green, baby!"

Gandhi/Man Bites Dog. I knew this guy in college who, at one point, was obsessed with the word, and concept of dichotomy. I have this vivid memory of him talking really fast, for like 3 hours, where he said "dichotomy" like every 5th word. I think every 3rd word was Nietzsche.

I hadn't seen either of these movies in a long time. That Ben Kingsley -- wha-baam! -- there's an actor. If you're in the mood for a movie that has an intermission in it (I guess this was before the "pause" button), check Gandhi out: any man who can make his wife happy to clean the bathroom knows what's up.

I think I feel asleep the first time, long ago, when I watched Man Bites Dog. If you need your violent French fix, I'd check out La Haine first, and then this 'un.